Pat Forde Needs A New Intern Or Something

7 Sep

Like most of ESPN’s college football analyst gaggle, Pat Forde is annoying and misinformed in his own charming, annoying and misinformed way. None of us are stupid enough to brazenly predict a Penn State victory of Alabama, but this is some lazy, lazy rationale for picking Alabama:

Penn State’s defense didn’t force a turnover against Youngstown State last week and allowed freshman Penguins quarterback Kurt Hess to complete 84 percent of his passes. Repeat: That was against Youngstown State. What’s going to happen when that defense gets a look at Bama QB Greg McElroy and his two NFL wide receivers?

What’s going to happen? Nobody knows, but it’ll probably be more than five fucking yards downfield, which is more than anyone can say for Youngstown State’s passing game. Yes, Hess completed 21/25 passes, one of which was a rocket screen that went for 80 yards. So there’s an obvious defensive lapse. The rest of Hess’ day? 20 completions for 109 yards. That’s not dink and dunk, it’s drool and, um…spool, against a Penn State defense that went nickel exactly once, which I’m TOTALLY SURE THEY’LL DO AGAINST ALABAMA. Jesus.

10 Responses to “Pat Forde Needs A New Intern Or Something”

  1. kmart 07. Sep, 2010 at 11:27 pm #

    Hahah I was thinking the same thing when I read the Dash earlier. Apparently he did no research other than “Oh he was 21/25. Penn State’s pass D must suck”

    You know who else didn’t have an interception on Saturday? Bama’s D that apparently won’t miss a step while replacing 10 starters.

    • Chris 07. Sep, 2010 at 11:29 pm #

      Honestly, what kind of lazy bullshit is this?

  2. Chris 07. Sep, 2010 at 11:28 pm #

    Put another way, the number of Hess’ other completions that went for 10 yards or more: ONE.

    His completions gained the following: 7, 6, 4, 9, 4, 6, 2, 5, 2, -4, 5, 7, 5, 8, 14, 6, 4, 7, 5, 7.

  3. dmoney350z 08. Sep, 2010 at 12:04 am #

    He’s also bad at math:

    “The Hurricanes have to prove they can leave the state of Florida without returning in a body bag. They’re 1-5 in their past five games outside the Sunshine State…”

    Real nice of him to call Joe “fossilized”, too.

    • Kevin 08. Sep, 2010 at 9:06 am #

      I think what he meant to say is that, one out of six times, it works all five times!1!

      • Chris 08. Sep, 2010 at 9:18 am #

        That’s some Sex Panther math right there.

  4. STL 08. Sep, 2010 at 8:31 am #

    HA…this is classic…well done

  5. M1EK 08. Sep, 2010 at 12:57 pm #

    SSSH. It HELPS us to have this kind of crap out there before the game. This kind of garbage only hurts near the end of the year.

  6. Tailgate Shogun 08. Sep, 2010 at 7:27 pm #

    If there’s a bigger creep out there than Pat Forde, I have yet to meet him.

    I mean, besides STL. That dude’s a total creeper.

Trackbacks and Pingbacks

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